Saturday, July 25, 2009

Bewildering Patients

We were trying to recall weird and bewildering experiences @ the ER, in the ward or on the news. Here are some of my more interesting patients.... LOL
  • LRT 1 Expansion Guard inside his guard house. Guard house smacked by cab with sleepy cab driver. Guard arrives at East Ave with altered sensorium and lots of injuries. I think we were able to do a CT scan and it showed intracranial bleed can't remember where. Anyway... Lesson: You get a job, you die. Stay at home. LOL
  • Priest from seminary changing water from dispenser. New and full water gallon apparently slips and falls ... wait for it ... on his big toe. Toe avulsed... We try to reattach. Whole convent must pray it does not necrose. Lesson: The more faith you have. The more you will get tested.
  • 50-ish woman wonders why there is nothing coming out of almost new tube of mighty bond. Looks closely and squeezes forcefully. Squirts her eye ... and in surprise .... holds her eye .... (nope... fingers and eye didn't stick LOL) Fingers are stuck together. Eye stuck closed. We tell her "Heto po lalagyan natin ng anesthesia bago buksan (We're going to put anesthesia before we try to open it.)" but we drop it outside (of course it's shut closed LOL) so no effect. Then... we force it OPEN!!! LOL No other way sorry... Lesson: You can learn something useful from watching screwball comedies...
  • Patient brought in the ER screaming, rolling on the floor, looking funny while doing it. Problem: cockroach in ear. One of the most painful things I've seen. And I don't doubt it. It IS really painful when the roach tries to fight back when you "kill" it. Lesson: Wash your hands after eating. Some of that mango flavor you ate might just end up in your ear and attract some nice pets...
More to come...

These are true stories. I'm trying to be funny but they are serious and these patients were hurt!

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